Child Spotlight: Avery

Introducing Avery, our fifth child.

Avery is the only one of my children (so far) who did not want to have anything to do with Kindergarten and refused to go.  Normally I send my kids to Kindergarten so that they can learn their phonics and have a base for reading before they come home to me for homeschooling.   They are usually willing and very happy to go.  But not Avery.  She told me straight away that she wanted to stay home with her older siblings and "do homeschool" -- and so I let her, of course!  I wasn't going to insist she go to school, after all.  I was happy to have her home with us.  I only send my kids to Kindergarten because it's FUN and because they learn their letter sounds.  And it's only 3 hours a day.  But if they don't want to go, that's fine with me.  So far, though, they've all wanted to go.  All except little Miss Avery.

Avery is a very quiet child by nature.  She has a lot going through her mind, but she keeps most of her thoughts inside her head.  She is very strong-willed and can be quite stubborn. But the thing about Avery is this:  if she has done something wrong or has misbehaved, I can explain it to her and she will quietly listen to me, not saying anything.  And I will walk away wondering if my talk did any good.

But later on she will do or say something, and I will instantly know that she took in everything I told her.  She will correct her wrong-doings and make up for them. She might not "tell" me that she is making up for them, and she might not "tell" me that she understood and agreed with what I told her.  But her actions will clearly tell me that she did.  This is part of her strong-willed personality:  it's hard for her to admit she was wrong, and it's hard for her to apologize.  But she does correct herself.  And she does do better the next time.

When I homeschooled her, we bumped heads a lot.  She was the type to give up easily if she didn't understand a concept right away.  I'm a pretty patient person, but Avery really tried my patience at times!  I would explain a new concept in math to her, and just as soon as I finished my explanation she would instantly say, "I don't get this.  I'm not doing it!"  and I would say, "But you haven't even tried a problem yet."  and she would say, "It doesn't matter.  I don't get it.  I'm never going to get it."   

her negative attitude really got to me at times

I taught her for Kindergarten, 1st grade, 2nd grade, and 3rd grade.  She definitely learned at her own pace.  I look back and am so thankful that she homeschooled for those grades, because she didn't really start reading until the summer before she started 3rd grade.  If that happened while she was in regular school, they would have slapped a label on her.  She would have been forced to compare herself to her classmates.  She would not have been able to move at her own pace, and I believe that would have been damaging to her self-esteem. As it was, she went from easy readers like Dr. Suess to chapter books in one month's time. When she finally "got it" - she soared!   I never pushed her to read, but I kept reading to her. I never made her feel like she "should be reading" by now.  I knew that she would eventually read when it was her time.  And I was right.

Avery asked to go into regular school in the 4th grade.  I knew she was ready, and I felt it would be good for her.  She was never an easy student for me to teach, and I had a hunch that she would do great with another teacher other than "mom" - and again, I was right.   She was a very serious student right from the beginning - always on time for school, always doing her homework the minute she got home from school. I never had to remind her to do her school work.  She would come to me if she had questions about her homework.  Her teacher kept me informed as to how she was adjusting to being in school and said she was a model student and so very polite.  She made friends easily, always turned in her work, and never misbehaved.  Most of all, she was having FUN and looked forward to school each and every morning.

She starts the 5th grade in a couple more weeks, and she hasn't lost any of that motivation and excitement.  Regular school has been wonderful for her, she has blossomed and grown, but I'm still glad that we had those first four years at home!